


You whom I have loved

by Eye_Candy



Category: Snatch (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Billy and Lotti are together, Charlie loves Albert, Chloe is a badass, Friendship, Love, M/M, Moving On, One-Sided Attraction, Self-Acceptance, Self-Reflection, Snatch 2017, Snatch TV 2017, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 19:49:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10646847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eye_Candy/pseuds/Eye_Candy
Summary: Charlie looks back on his relationship with Albert and decides to move on. It's harder than he thought.





	You whom I have loved

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I just finished the 2017 TV remake of the movie Snatch. Tbh, I didn't know of the movie before. The serie made me want to watch it. The serie was so entertaining and I enjoyed it very much. This fic idea started while watching episode 2 where Charlie gets both high and drunk and literally says to Albert he loves him and has really deep feelings for him. I squealed so hard at that and started shipping them ^u^

Charlie could hear it in his head, the tired tone of his family’s butler shaking his head at one of his childhood’s mischiefs. Master Charles, he would sigh, before picking him up and clean up his mistakes. Charlie sometimes regretted those times, when he was too young to be accountable for his mistakes and be taken care of with the gentle empathy people had for children. Now Charlie was an adult, or at least he was supposed to be, yet he found it difficult to handle life by himself. He longed for someone to pick him up from the shattered crystal vase on the floor, prevent its shards from slicing his skin, and make it all disappear. But Charlie wasn’t a child anymore, and what he broke wasn’t a simple vase, but his heart.

He had it coming. He shouldn’t have aimed for something he couldn’t have, but that was just the way he was. A dreamer that boy, his mother used to say. Still a dreamer, despite the years. Still reaching for the unattainable. Albert Hill, a cockney hustler from East End, his friend for the past decade. Terribly _cliché_ , to fall in love for your best friend. He could almost laugh at the situation if it wasn’t tearing him apart. His parents would be horrified if they knew, though Charlie wondered if it was because Albert was a man or an East Ender from the working-class. Both probably. Not that it mattered. Nothing mattered anymore.

Charlie couldn’t pinpoint the moment the bond he shared with Albert, made of years of friendship, trust, and being there for one another, turned into the worst affliction he ever endured. He guessed it was just the effect of growing up. From the start, he had been condemned to love Albert Hill. He had followed him through his worst ideas, from cheating games, organized scams, to the most recent, the gold. He was kidnapped, handcuffed to a radiator, beaten to a pulp, stuck in a closet, then witness to a brutal murder, all to protect Albert. When this psychopath of Bob Fink asked if he thought Albert would do the same for him, he had said yes without a single doubt. Albert was loyal to his friends, one of the many reasons Charlie loved him.

While being held prisoner by Fink, Charlie had fancied the idea of Albert rescuing him. When the lucid part of him kicked in, he remembered that he had a fight with Albert and told him he’d stay in his cousin’s country house for a day or two, refusing to follow him back to London at the news of Mrs. Hill arrest. Albert had thrown him a betrayed look that hurt Charlie more than he was willing to admit, and went away with the gang, leaving him alone. Albert could not know of his current situation. Yet, he hoped. Foolish Charlie, he would scold himself. But who wasn’t as far as love was concerned ?

But Charlie chose to end this. Yes, there were good times. When they turned the tables on both Super Intendent Jones and his Corsican buyers, sailing away with stacks of money. As Spain had been Lily’s dream for the past fifteen years, Albert’s parents brought an old farm in Andalusia needing more than a little renovation, big enough to welcome the eight of them. Vic and Albert started bonding over the do up of the house, helped by Hate ’Em and Billy. Lilly, dedicated to her first passion, set up a greenhouse to grow flowers and a vegetable patch. Chloe, always the pragmatic one, was figuring out how she was going to make prosper her share of the money, and hesitated between going back to her studies for real or set up a business of her own. Lotti, after the tumultuous life she had with Sonny, was more than happy to spend her days sunbathing, lounging on the nearby beach, and spend the rest of the time canoodling with Billy.

As for Charlie, well… Charlie was happy. He was happy to see the fragility Albert had carried all his life, being deprived of a father, melt away as he and Vic got to know each other, the Hill family reunited at last. That made Charlie think of his own. He was born in a blue-blood family, money long gone, title and name being cherished more than anything. They had the old manor, deserted by domestics and falling in ruins, his father had his pseudo-scientific hobby and his mother kept a façade for appearances’ sake. Charlie wanted to use part of his share to restore his family’s propriety and name, and give an annual rent to his parents so they would not have to worry about how to live their lives again. Maybe being a good son will amend his sins.

He had no idea on what to do after thought. His mother’s dream had been to see him follow his cousins and relatives to either Cambridge or Oxford and study something suitable, like law or politics. He was heir to Lordship after all. Charlie never thought of doing something in his life. Working was tedious, and not as exciting as life itself. He would rather take risks, that’s why he chose not to live off his parents, lack of money and pretence aside. But now he had money. He could spend it however he liked. And even if Spain was beautiful and the sun was much more welcomed than rainy London, Charlie had to leave. He had to, because being so close to Albert was becoming unbearable.

Each time he looked at Albert, each time a smile was carelessly thrown at him, he felt a painful stab in the guts at the knowledge that Albert saw him as a friend. A great pal, but nonetheless, nothing more than a friend, ever. When Charlie met Chloe he had hoped she would help him get over an hopeless infatuation to start something that could lead somewhere and mean something. It was wrong, felt wrong, to be with Chloe to forget Albert, and that’s probably why it didn’t work. Charlie was now sure that he had to remove himself quietly and get away from Albert. It seemed like the only way to forget him. Since they met, Charlie had stayed by Albert’s side because he needed him. Now that he got his father back and no longer lacked a presence to fill the void in his life, Charlie was free to go.

Charlie wished he was brave enough to tell Albert about leaving. He told Chloe, despite the two of them not working out in the end, and swore her to secrecy. After all they’d been through together, Chloe remained a reliable friend. Telling Albert was impossible, because Charlie knew he’d try to talk him out of it and convince him to stay, and Charlie no longer trusted either will or judgement when it came down to Albert Hill.

It was almost four in the morning, dawn was creeping on the night. All Charlie had in his luggage was stack of bills, one million two hundred fifty thousand pounds to be precise, his cut from the ten million the gold bought them. He couldn’t take a plane with that much money, so he spent the past week securing a route for himself and his money. He will take a cruise ship from Malaga to Saint-Malo in France, then a train to Calais where he'll take the ferry to go back to England. If all went according to plan, he’ll be home in a week. If all went well, he will forget Albert and move on. Charlie came down the stairs, carefully avoiding the cracking one and made his way to the front door. As he passed in front of the kitchen, he heard a voice calling for him.

“Charlie ?” a familiar voice called.

Charlie froze as Lily stood from the kitchen table and walked to him, rearranging her robe around her frame. She frowned but said nothing about the luggage.

“Would you like some coffee ?” she asked instead of inquiring why he was sneaking out in the middle of the night.

“That would be good, Mrs. H.” he replied politely.

She nodded, more to herself than him, and went back into the kitchen. He followed her, sitting on one of the chairs, putting his bag on the table. Lily poured him a cup of coffee and put it in front of him.

“Here.” She said before sitting back.

“Thank you Mrs. H.” Charlie said, his hands surrounding the warm mug.

“So would you like to tell me what is this about ?” she offered kindly, even though he suspected she already knew. She was a sharp one, Lily Hill.

“Albert.” Charlie managed to say, not daring to look away from the black fluid in his mug.

Lily made a sound in understanding, as if Charlie confirmed her own idea. She said nothing, taking her sip of her coffee. Her calm silence allowed Charlie to draw an envelope from inside his blazer and put in on the table.

“It’s for Albert.” He said. “I want him to understand why… and I don’t want him to look for me.” He ended shakily. “Would you…”

“I will.” Lily said, putting a hand on his forearm and squeezing it gently as a sign of support.

No other words were spoken, yet none other were needed. After a while, Charlie stood up under the compassionate gaze of Lily, and after a tight forced smile, he walked away. By the door, he grabbed a set of car keys, the simplest of all so the gang won’t miss it, and left. He threw his bag on the passenger’s seat and started the engine. He had an hour of drive ahead and the ship cruise left at nine sharp. As he started driving, the sun started to eclipse the moon, Charlie looked at the rear-view mirror to look back one last time before pushing the accelerator, leaving the old farm and the old Charlie behind as he rushed to the next part of his life.


End file.
